Friday, February 6, 2009

It sucks having black hair..

I know the title may be throwing you off but this was the topic of a discussion a few of my girlfriends and I had last weekend. These particular friends had various hairstyles.

There were two loc rockers, two permies and a sista with a TWA (teeny weeny afro). I don't even know how we got on this topic but before I knew it we were all dramatically expressing our woes of having Black hair.

"It's like no matter how a Black woman wears her hair, it's ALWAYS going to be a hassle."

"We can never NOT put a satin scarf on at night."

"I thought that by going natural, my hair would be easier to take care of. Not!"

"And there's a reason why we spend so much money on products. Our hair requires so much!"

I could go on and on...and at the end of the conversation I really got to thinking...

"Damn, it sucks having nappy/kinky hair."

And very rarely do I NOT like my hair. I actually love my natural texture...but it's true, having Black hair is hard work. I don't ever remember it being easy.

Actually wait---having a small afro was probably the best style I ever had. Such freedom. And let's not forget braid extensions. This was the ONLY style in which my Mom let me swim every day in. And being able to swim without fear of my hair was true freedom for a litle Black girl.

Does having Black hair suck? I love mine and I know it's beautifully unique but my friends of other races never told me horror stories about the hot comb from the stove. Or being 12 years old and spending every other Saturday in a hair salon....hours and hours in a hair salon. And I would always be frustrated with my hair growth, balding spots....not sure what to expect when a perm would literally leave my scalp on fire.

Does it suck having Black hair? Even as a natural it's going to take hours to twist and loc your hair. And let's not talk about the pain that comes from "blowing out" to achieve the perfect afro. I could never put a comb to my nappy hair because it huuuuurt.

Do other races of women run from the rain the way we do? Or don't swim? Or don't work out? And then blame their hair....?

Does it really suck having Black hair?


Anonymous said...

aT times it does... when one thinks of a perm when detangling, putting in a natural style and it looks "wrong" and finding it EXTREMELY difficult to keep the hair soft and moisturized.

I think with all the knowledge we have discovered, the good out weighs all the bad... Being who we truly are without altering it.. the opportunity to roc many different styles with our own hair etc...

yeah some days we might want to get rid of it.. but other days the feelings is simply magical.

Miss.Stefanie said...

"Do other races of women run from the rain the way we do? Or don't swim? Or don't work out? And then blame their hair....?"

Now seriously--You do NOT have to ask me that question. I run from the rain, I don't get my head wet at ll times. I have to condition it EVERY week. Technically, I have more of my Cuban side when it comes to my hair.

I straighten it. Let it be natural. Pull it back. It's a mess. I can never get romantic with a man in a pool...I swear sometimes I freak out like "Ohh man if I'm in the rain...that's it."

So yes....I deal with it. You knew that already and I'm white as sin.

kukaberry said...

I believe that everyone is given a different head for a reason. Everyone has one style that they can just rock. I KNOW that white women have hair worries too. They wash their hair EVERYDAY! If they don't, it gets 2 oily 2 manage. Can you imagine? Then many of them blow dry it and flat iron it too! Wake up early every morning for that? I try not to complain because I can go a week without washing my hair and sometimes I will wrap it up in a bun for the second week and still not wash it! Yeah we have to get a perm every 1-3 months (I haven't gotten mine in almost 6 mo. - terrible) but I'm just grateful that the hot comb has finally been prohibited! Young black girls should be jumping for joy that we have flat irons today that can get those kitchens! lol

Beautifully.Conjured.Up said...

Let me first say, I love my natural hair, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

The biggest problem black women have with their hair is we're constantly comparing our hair (and our skin color, body type, facial features, etc.) with women of other races, and for what? To validate our beauty? That's one of the reasons why I went say I don't need to feel validated about anything from anyone, for I'm great just the way I am. We tend to make things harder for us on our own, and something like hair should be the least worry on our minds. I know it is for me because I have bigger and better things to focus on.

Every woman of every race has something to feel insecure about...the main difference is, they're not looking at black women as the standard, while black women are looking at them as the standard.

The Pretty Brown Girl said...

I've actually found it easier to deal w/my hair since going natural 5yrs ago (almost 5 exactly since I got my last "temporary perm" on 2/13/04). Once I became a "Loc Rocker", it got even less difficult dealing w/my hair. I love it. I wish I had done it sooner.

Anonymous said...

This is an interesting topic. I always used to complain about the hot comb, or waiting in the salon whether it be for a permed or natural's just the way it is.

Now there was this one girl, back when I was in high school, that literally did nothing to her hair. She was natural and wore it short and looked absolutely fabulous. She never greased, wore a cap or used a comb. Just washed and went...WOW!

Brandi Jade said...

I think it "sucks" because we have been forced to approach black hair from a European perspective. Our idea of beauty and maintenance has all been influenced--whether we like it or not--by the predominantly European culture of the Western World. I think the rise in natural styling has not eliminated that influence; it has only diluted it a bit. But even lock wearers want neat, long perfect locs. Fros are treated with texturizers and blow out, so on and so forth.

I do have friends of other races that have problems with their hair. It's too limp, no volume, too frizzy, to think, too many curls, won't hold a curl, to thin...I think we can all find something to envy of someone else's hair texture.

Dieing to be thin said...

Im not sure where I got my hair from but its not fun. I have had people tell me its jjust bad hair i know its bad but I love it.

If you look at me you will see a white girl but i do have mexican and jewish in me along with every breed that ends with ish.

But my hair is stright, and kinky, and frizzy, and thick, and curly, and well everything but thin. It can take up to 2 hours to blowdry my hair, another 2 to use a flat iron. If it gets wet its a big ball of puff.

My oldest daughter was the only 2 year old white girl i had ever seen with a natural afro. NOt a little fro eather it was as big as her head, everyone in my family including my daughter has big heads so thats saying something.

I have evil rotten hair it does not like water, it does not like to listen, its a brat. But i love it. And nope it has never stoped me from doing anything but if im going out with hubby and get dressed up I will run from the rain because im not about to let hours of work go bye bye in a few mins, plus running is good for you.