I agree with some of what he is saying. But not everything. He isn't the first Black man who I have heard say this.
First off...let me say this.
I don't think that perms/weaves are a form of self-hate. I think to make that assertation is a little extreme. It seems that the finger is ALWAYS be pointed at the Black woman. As if we are responsible for this so-called "form of self-hate". No one sits back and thinks about WHY we do what we do.
They just see it, give it a negative connotation and move on.
That's not fair.
Now don't get it twisted. I am not supporting perms or weaves. AT ALL. I hate them both. I am proud to say that I have never worn a weave (only extensions). And I am proud to say that I will never put a perm in my head again. It is a personal decision that I have made but I could care less what anyone else does. My Mother, my sisters, my closest friends...they all rock perms and weaves. And do I look at them differently?
Hell no.
Do I think that my Mother secretly hates herself because she gets a perm every 4-5 weeks?
Nope. In fact, I would argue that it was my Mother who taught me how to love myself despite my insecurities. The insecurities that had nothing to do with hair. She helped me feel beautiful when I felt ugly because of the gap between my teeth. She taught me how to have "spa days" at home so that I can feel beautiful about my body. I learned about self-love from her. A woman who when I picked on her about being "old" on her 50th birthday responded saying,
"Whatever....I'm 50 and fine."
And she is. She loves herself. There is no doubt about it.
Yet she has a perm.
Okay, I'm lying...I secretly wish that all Black women went natural. There's a certain kind of love that you feel for yourself that just can't be felt with the constant use of perms/weaves; both which mask our unique and beautiful hair texture. And if you ask any napptural female, she will tell you the same thing. Being natural is freedom. It just feels good. And I want my fellow sistas to feel that feeling.
But I know some chicks won't drop the perm if you paid them. Oh well.
No one looks at the history of perms/weaves and the Black woman.
I like to think that if Black men loved Black women more, we may not be so inclined to rock perms and weaves. Seriously....think about it.
If Black men suddenly stopped putting ladies with long hair in their videos and ONLY had sistas with afros, twists, locs and braids, imagine what this would do to the psyche of Black women.
Imagine if Russell Simmons, Kanye West (his annoying behind), Jay-Z and Dwight Howard dropped the chicks that they are with and traded them in for nappy headed beauties. And these beauties are being seen on t.v. with them....and in magazines....and on stage...and on the sidelines. Imagine if these Black men proudly linked arms with sistas who are rocking their beautiful natural hair.
Imagine what that would do for Black women. And little Black girls. And the way we saw ourselves. If our Black fathers/brothers/husbands/uncles/friends can love us in our natural state then hell...
WE CAN LOVE OURSELVES TOO!
And so would start an epidemic of Black women dropping the perms and weaves and making the uneasy transition to sprouting beautiful natural hair.
Now that's just one thought. There are sooooo many.
I know because I had to write a 20-page paper on Colorism in undergrad for my Africana Studies discipline and I spent a good 6 pages talking about hair. That paper was a masterpiece, yall. I ain't even gon lie...lol!
I challenge Black men to love Black women a little better in our natural state. Our requesting that we love ourselves in our natural state.
What if Raven Symone rocked an afro on her show?
What if Tyler Perry ONLY had women with natural hair in his movies?
What if hair stylists honestly told their clients that natural hair is better?
What if there were more hair salons that taught us how to work with our hair instead of against it?
Just...what if?
Perms/weaves are NOT a form of self-hate.
As Black women, we don't hate ourselves.
We just haven't learned to completely love ourselves.
.....and we ain't the only race that has that issue dammit!
I would love to hear yall's thoughts!
[EDIT]
And I can I just say that even though wearing my hair naturally has given me certain kind of LOVE....I kinda thought I was the baddest thing walking even when I had a perm. LOL, seriously! Self-confidence is something we ALL need to work on.
