Who cares if you have a perm? I don't.

*throwback! My teacher's photo when I was in L.A.
I came in on the weekend and didn't expect to take a photo.
Why is my hair so high? LMAO!*

A friend of mine popped off on me the other day. It was in reference to my Facebook status in which I talked about needing a few ladies with various hair types to answer a few questions regarding "good hair".

My friend sends me a message and says,

"The Natural Hair Extraordinaire" is at it again!

I respond with

"Uh...."

She then goes into some tirade about how irritated she is with natural folx always trying to make everyone else who is not natural feel bad. She said she loves the perm and has no intentions of ever going natural.

First of all---if YOU feel bad about not having natural hair, that's between YOU and YOUR insecurities. This may come as shock but I DON'T CARE. Really, it's true. I am natural and I will always be natural. I could care less if the chick next to me, my best friend or even my Mom wear natural hair. I take pride in my natural hair but I am not on some attempt to make everyone go natural. Is it possible for me to show pride in MY hair without YOU getting offended?

Is there division between naturals and permies? I think so. I think we are all responsible for it. And it's so silly. Yes, I'm sure there are some naturals that judge people who perm their hair. And there are permies who judge naturals thinking that we are all some afrocentric "power to the people" monolithic group?

Wrong wrong wrong.

Permies need to understand this----just because a sista takes pride in her natural hair, it does not mean she thinks you too should go natural. I'd rather attempt to bring about world peace than "make all Black women go natural". I think it would be fantastic if Black women accepted their natural beauty but if they don't.....life will move on. We have bigger issues to deal with in the Black community. I'm more concerned about us owning these hair shops we spend a crap load of dollars in.

I am not "better" because I have natural hair. And you aren't better because you live a lye.

I'm soooo kidding about that one. It's just a joke. But really...lighten up, people. I'm natural and natural I will stay. I love Black hair....the history, the stories, the struggle, the ideas, the perception. I love ladies who can rock a mean wrap. I love little brown girls with candy curls. I think it's amazing what a flat iron can do. Creating styles and maintaining Black hair is an art. I'm amazed by it really.

But I'm not amazed by weaves. I'm sorry....it just bothers me. But again, that's my prerogative .

Sista, I don't really care if you have a perm.

Do.
You.

You're not really natural because you color your hair...

You know what?

People get on my nerves. Seriously. A few days ago an associate from mine told me that to some I may not be considered natural because I do not wear my natural hair color.

I've heard of these claims before on natural hair care forums. My opinion?

It's ridiculous.

You cannot compare altering hair texture to altering hair color.

Many years ago Black women altered their hair texture to make it "more manageable" or "more attractive" or "more European-like". We can argue all day WHY Black women damaged their beautiful natural kinks and traded them for straight hair. But that isn't the issue.

How can dying my hair light brown or red or orange or black or purple make my hair unnatural? My hair color is unnatural but I STILL rock my natural texture. Therefore I'm natural.

See, this is the problem with labels. They confine you to a tight little box with very little room to move. For the past 4 years I have considered my hair to be "natural"....yet there are others who say that because I dye my hair I am not natural.

Ain't that something?

I say "Screw 'em". I define myself and I proudly adopt my natural-ism. I could care less who thinks less of me and my hair because I choose to color it.

I urge other naturals to define themselves as well. Don't let people put you in a box. Whether you color your natural hair or straighten your natural hair or even cover your natural hair with wigs and weaves---if you still love, accept and take care of your unaltered hair, then, baby....

You're natural.

Rock on!

Fro-Back When: My response to a Natural Hair Hater

A few days ago I was looking through one of my email accounts that I had in college. I noticed a folder called "Drama Crap" and after looking at some of the emails exchanged from ex-boyfriends, old roommates and friends, I came across one that really made me mad allll over again.

One of my high school best friends straight up told me that she HATED my natural hair. This was around the time that I went natural and was insecure about the whole "natural and short" look. Her words cut me deep. And here was my response to her.

May 2005
20 Years Old

How appropriate is that photo? HA!

Dear Friend,

You really pissed me off the other day. This whole "natural hair" thing has so many people trying to bring me down and make me feel bad and I'm just sick of it. I have people on the streets who say nicer things about my hair than my own friends. And that hurts. Try really believing in something and feeling passionate about it and then your own friends and loved ones.....tell you otherwise. That's exactly what you did when I showed you the picture of my hair. You didn't have not one nice thing to say about it. And maybe you really didn't like it. Okay, fine---I want you to be honest about it, but I didn't want you to be rude and go down the list of things that made me cutting off my hair so bad.

It's not easy putting scissors to your own hair and leaving the world of "perms". It takes someone bold, brave and "real" to stop living up to what society says is beautiful. I had to slowly pick myself back up after talking to you because you really made me feel bad. Maybe you don't remember the things you said, or didn't mean for them to sound so harsh, but honey trust me......it hurt. It seems as if no one can understand this "new found" Brittany. Cutting my hair was about change, about sick of straight and FAKE hair, about discovering the new "me" that was always hidden by the lye.

But believe it or not, I'm not an advocate for natural hair. I could care less if you or anyone else loooove natural hair. I'm doing me. And while you may not understand that, I do think respecting my decision is important. That's what friends do, right?





Haven't talked to her since. We had other problems but a friend not accepting my new look was really the icing on the cake.

If you are considering going natural or loc'ing but are hesitant about what people think, consider one thing: IT DOESN'T MATTER! [Newsflash] It is YOUR hair. And no one should make you feel bad about wearing it in its natural state. The road to natural hair isn't an easy journey. If forces you to love yourself in a way that you have never done before. If you choose to see it that way. Do you and love you.


Peace and loc've